In the Secret Place of Thunder

Mendl said: This city of Kisalon [lit. “Foolsville,” Yid. Glupsk], where I’ll begin my story, is very important, for the entire Jewish Pale of Settlement is named after it. And it is not through vanity that this Jewish mother city (2 Samuel 20:19) is lauded so: for there is no one in our country who is not related, more or less, to Kisalon, and in whom at least an eighth of an eighth of its characteristics are not found. If you, gentlemen, were not born in Kisalon yourselves, I am certain that your parents were Kisalonites, and if Kisalon blood does not flow in all 248 of your organs and 365 of your veins, at any rate it has a place in one of the corners of your brain. I was young, and now I am old (Psalms 37:25) and I never saw one of our brethren, who, in his deeds, manners, and customs—secular and sacred—did not betray some Kisalonism. Both laymen and the learned, both the poor and the rich—in all of them traces of Kisalon are implanted like spurs and nails (Ecclesiastes 12:11). [ . . . ]

May our brethren, near and far, whether at sea or at land, be informed that Kisalon, our mother, still exists, Praise God! Come, my sons, and listen, and I will tell you (Psalms 34:12) the deeds and ways of her Jews: their resting and their rising, their garb and their gait, their thoughts and their musings, their business practices. Listen, and don’t mock this mother [city] for being old. Her mind is still sound, her old customs are still remembered and practiced, for they have not been neglected by the Jews. I will arrange her unique character and city plan before you so you can see her as she truly is.

Kisalon is an entirely Jewish town in every detail. The construction trade is mocked by her—who will not follow its rules. So as not to disrespect heaven, her houses do not stand erect. Rather they are humble and lowly, and some of them are bent over, their roofs pressed to the earth, without makeup or exterior adornment, for favor is deceitful and beauty is vain (Proverbs 31:30), and they aren’t worth even a single penny. All the honor of a Jewish home is found within [see Psalms 45:13]. There are its bed, its table, and its bedpan, the whole brood, all the vessels (Isaiah 22:24) and pretty things, including kitchenware and the besom [straw or twig broom]. Neither adhering to the commandment of placing a railing along the roof nor the custom of using pipes to channel rainwater, nor the custom of setting a paved floor in front of the house; by contrast, it is customary to pile up sewage in front of the door, and pigs come and sink in up to their ears in the mud and muck, for their benefit and pleasure, and they raise a stink. And if petty policemen come to give notice about the filth, they silence them with a glass of brandy and leftover challah from Shabbat. For this challah, which [imbued with mystical powers] gives a tried-and-true way for straightening a candle wick on Friday night, is wonderful for straightening the hearts of these officials. And in extreme circumstances, when they overharden their hearts, one also feeds them a piece of gefilte fish with onions and garlic, and they immediately turn softer than oil, and the world continues to spin. Though there did exist a case when all Kisalon was hastened, out of its way, to beautify itself, for the public, against their will. A rumor was heard that a high-ranking official would soon come to her on his [provincial] inspection. Kisalon awoke and prepared itself for his arrival. Behold, the Jews came out of their holes (1 Samuel 14:11), and everyone had his tools in hand: bundles of rags and paints of various strange and unusual colors. And the Kisalonites were smart and painted the fronts of their houses, everyone as his imagination inspired him, presenting shocking images like the kind of pictures seen on the walls of synagogues and in the mizraḥ¹ there. And what was Kisalon like at that time? Like a Jewish bride who takes the trouble to place strange ornaments on her body, as many items as she can, to find favor in the eyes of her groom and in-laws. Young people saw the new paintings and were amazed by the actions of the adults, and they said to themselves: Give honor to the old woman! Elderly people also stood up. Mikhai, the guard, who puts out the candles on Friday night, gawked in astonishment, and his right hand, which had reached toward his purse [in his trousers] to take a piece of challah, stood halfway there, hanging in the air. And Petrikha, who milked the cows on Shabbat and on the Jewish holidays, laughed aloud in great joy, with her hands on her belly. The policeman stood and observed the wonders of Kisalon, nodded his head in puzzlement, scratched himself frowning, and uttered words which the Kisalonites, in their innocence, interpreted favorably, for certainly this uncircumcised man was astonished by the wisdom of the Jews and said to himself, That nation is wise and discerning (Deuteronomy 4:6). [ . . . ] Though one man did dare to mock Kisalon, saying this beautification makes her uglier and testifies that she has no taste. But that is what one of the apikorsim [skeptics] said, one of those foolish inquirers, and therefore they did not pay attention to him, and the wind carried away his words.

Kisalon merited the name of a Jewish city because of its patience and great humility. All its householders and elders testify that she was repeatedly insulted publicly because of the bumps in the streets—because the paving stones are scattered far from one another, with tops as sharp as spears, and they have become stumbling blocks, for many people have tripped on them and broken their legs; and because of the carcasses of cats, dogs, and other vermin that are thrown onto the streets—and this insulted city was as if deaf and unhearing, and forgave its affronts. All her enemies opened their mouths against her because of her muddy river and ponds, which are rotten with huge amounts of human and animal excrement that has been gathered there for years; and on account of the fires that break out in her, because the houses are very crowded, with one nearly falling on the other, and this innocent one hears her shame and does not reply. These are some sketches of the face and form of Kisalon. [ . . . ] Not only in their mouths and on their tongues, but also in all their deeds the Kisalonites show the fidelity of their spirits to the city of their delight: everyone who sees them recognizes that in their body, soul, and might, they are Kisalonites.

A Kisalonite does not insist on the beauty of his clothing or on cleanliness and similar vanities of the world that other people maintain. The changes in fashion that are renewed from time to time in Paris and other civilized places do not come to Kisalon. If, on occasion, one of these alterations sneaks over, its aspect changes like a chameleon—in the hands of the tailors who stick to their methods of cutting and sewing—and the Parisian is Judaized and bears the stamp of Kisalonite patterns. When the laws [of 1804] were promulgated [in 1851] in our country delineating Jewish dress, the Kisalonites observed it little by little. If it appears now that they are dressing according to law, according to German custom, and with respect to “the law of the government is law,”² one cannot make an indirect claim against them. Nevertheless there is something Kisalonite-Jewish in their dress, and a special virtue, which cannot be defined.