Athenian Sophists

5. A certain man from Jerusalem went to see a merchant in Athens. He came and was received at a tavern, where he found some people who were sitting around and drinking wine. After he had eaten and drunk his fill, he inquired about sleeping there. They said to him, “We’ve set an agreement among ourselves that we cannot take in any person as a lodger until he jumps three jumps.” He said to them, “And how would I know how you jump? Rather, rise and show me, and then I’ll do them after you, just as you did.” One of the men got up, jumped, and ended up in the center of the tavern. Another jumped and ended up at the entrance of the tavern. Another [the third] jumped and ended up outside, [along with the two other men, who perhaps followed the third out]. The man from Jerusalem got up and shut the gate in their faces. He then said to them, “By your lives, what you tried to do to me, I have done to you.” [ . . . ]

7. A certain man from Athens came to Jerusalem, where he encountered a young boy and gave him some small change. “Go, find, and bring me back something to eat, so I can be satisfied with it and still have some left over to take on the road.” The boy went and brought him back some salt. The man said to him, “Did I tell you to bring me back salt?” The boy said to him, “Didn’t you tell me, ‘Go and bring me back something to eat, so I can be satisfied with it and still have some left over to take on the road’? By your life, there is [enough salt here] that you may eat and be satisfied and have some left over to take on the road.”

8. A certain man from Athens came to Jerusalem and encountered a discarded mortar. He took it and brought it to a tailor and said to him, “Sew up this broken mortar for me.” The tailor presented to him a handful of sand and said, “Spin this into thread for me, and I will sew up your mortar.” [ . . . ]

10. A certain man from Athens came to Jerusalem, where he encountered a priest. He said to him, “How much smoke does a bundle of wood make when it burns?” The priest said to him, “When it is damp, it becomes all smoke. When it is dry, it becomes one-third smoke, one-third ash, and one-third a consuming fire.” From where did the priest learn this? From the wood piled on the altar [in the Temple].

11. A certain man from Athens came to Jerusalem. He entered a school and encountered children sitting around there, but their teacher was not present among them. He asked them questions, and they were answering. Then they said to him, “Come, let us make a deal with each other that anyone who asks a question and stumps his fellow will take away his clothing.” “Fine,” said the Athenian. He further said, “You who are inhabitants of the land should go before me.” They said to him, “You should answer first, because you are an old man.” Then they asked him, “What are these: nine going out, eight going in, two pouring, one drinking, and twenty-four ministering?” Now the Athenian was unable to answer them, so they took away his clothing. He went to R. Yoḥanan, their teacher, and said, “Alas, teacher, is there such great wickedness among you that when a man visits, he has his clothing taken away?” R. Yoḥanan said to him, “Is it possible that they said something to you that you could not answer, such that your clothing was taken away?” The Athenian said to him, “That’s right.” And the teacher said, “What did they ask you?” The man said, “Such and such a question they posed to me.” R. Yoḥanan responded, “My son, nine going out are the months of being pregnant. Eight going in are the days prior to the circumcision. The two pouring are the two breasts that both pour. The one drinking is the infant that has been born. The twenty-four ministers are the twenty-four months of nursing a child. The man returned to them, answered [the riddle], and reclaimed his clothing. They [the children] then attributed to him the following scripture: Had you not ploughed with my heifer, you would not have answered my riddle (Judges 14:18).